Mailing it in.

It's been a week and a half since I got back from Vegas. Remembering where these pictures came from is almost as hard as finding a food place open at 3am in Barcelona. Impossible. For all the partying that happens in Barcelona they lack post party drunk food. No dirty dogs grilling outside a club. No 24 hour diners. No bueno. 

So here's my half assed attempt to guide you through the rest of the Vegas weekend. 

It's a Statue of Liberty made out of Jelly Beans. Why? It's Vegas. The land of stupid ideas that somehow make sense.

The beautiful Vegas strip at night. I think I took this at 2am Saturday night after our meal at L'Atelier. I don't even remember walking back to the hotel. Ooops. I do remember thinking gambling would be a good idea. Double oops. 

Flash forward 8 hours and I'm at the Monte Carlo pool. Slightly hung over and dehydrated so had a couple Bud Lights to start the morning. I don't typically start drinking at 10am but when in Vegas right? I hope my kids never find this blog. 

Don't worry kids. Daddy isn't a drunk. He's just easily seduced by the muse that is called Las Vegas. Vegas is a land of sin and vice so stay away. Future daughter, whatever your name may be, you especially stay away from Vegas. Future son, make sure to get ALL the glitter off before you head home. Also, she is never just working to pay off her college tuition. 

Love, Dad. 

His torso has just left the building. Thank you very much. *Elvis voice*

This is the hallway that is sandwiched between a jewelry store and the high rollers area at Aria. I imagine if Superman was a rich Chinese man he'd decorate his Fortress of Solitude like this.

Would you like some cake?

Fancy cakes.

MGM, after blowing about 8 billion dollars building City Center, decided that what Vegas needed was another mall filled with high-end retail stores. LV, Fendi, Prada, etc. etc.

Investors have been thrilled....



Cascading waterfall outside Aria. Looks beautiful and great for inducing urination.

Our travel companion suggested that we hit up the M Hotel Saturday night to try out their buffet. For $29.99 you get an all you can eat buffet. The buffet has 200 items to choose from AND free beer and wine. Absolutely ridiculous. Food was really good and their Coors light was nice and cold. Mmmm cheap domestic beer.

The SO went on her typical binge. This was plate 1 of 8. Okay okay, you got me. I was just jokng. It was plate 2...of 8.

...and then Sunday for lunch we went to Hubert Keller's critically praised Burger Bar.

Wait. What happened between buffet and Sunday morning? Well...Encore hotel, XS nightclub, fire marshals and 40 year old ladies dry humping  piano players. Good times.

So noted French chef Hubert Keller, of Fleur de Lys fame, started a chain of casual burger bars called Burger Bar.

No idea what this burger is. Let's just call it Vegas Burger Awesome-O.

My burger. I tried to be healthy by adding spinach on it.

Our flight back to LA wasn't until 7:30 pm Sunday night so the SO and I bade farewell to our friends who drove to Vegas and headed off to kill some time at the Bellagio hotel. Every season the atrium at the Bellagio has a different floral arrangement. This season was a Honey I Shrunk the Kids motif.

Battle ants with their pincers of doom.

It's a snail. I'm running out of jokes.

I see London, I see France, I see a cheesy replica of what was considered a testament to 19th century civil engineering now bastardized by the same people who offer margaritas in yard long plastic bongs.

Ka-

Boom.
Yes, SO, I stole another one of your jokes for my blog. When you have your own blog you can steal my jokes.

We traveled into the near future of 5:15 pm and boarded this tram to get from the Bellagio back to the Monte Carlo. Picked up our bags, went to the airport and flew off into the Vegas sunset. 

8 pounds heavier, $$$ dollars lighter and 10294838975194 brain cells deader, we were back in LA. 

Viva Las Vegas.  

One-upper

Age is just a number....until your body says "Nice Try"

I turn 30 this December. Sometimes I feel old. My knee hurts when I run. My hip joint has been bothering me lately. I can't party a lot without looking like Mike Tyson beat me in the face the next morning. My daily regimen of skin care products now is up to 4. 

Then again, I still play videogames, I find "that's what she said" jokes profoundly funny. The simplest "your mom" joke still leaves me in stitches. 

Through college and the first couple of years at Deloitte, Vegas weekends were the epitome of excess. Drinking, gambling, ogling at girls at the clubs. We stayed up till 6am every night, woke up at 10am to bake in the Vegas sun and ate large quantities of crab, prime rib and other haute cuisine at the Mandalay Bay, Paris, Bellagio, Rio and even the legendary 24 hour $9.99 Surf Buffet at the Boardwalk Casino (How they managed to serve surf and turf buffet at $9.99 makes me wonder at what kind of irreparable damage I caused to my intestines after eating there)  Anyways, Vegas was a weekend devoted to debauchery in all shapes and forms. The youthful me could do all this in stride. Nary an effect after subjecting my body to all this. 

Friday afternoon as the plane took off from Burbank, I said to myself "You are still young. You can do it. Let's show these young bucks what partying post tech bubble bust was like. 2002 in the house!!"

First stop. Checking in at the super high class Monte Carlo hotel. I've stayed here before but allow me to amuse myself with this rant. 

The website states:

"Welcome to extravagance, without extravagant prices. Service without snobbiness. And unpretentious luxury from the moment you walk through the door."

Seriously. Why stay at the Wynn, Encore, Aria, The Hotel, etc. when you can have all the luxury of these hotels without the snobbiness. I hate snobs. 

Checked in just fine. Walking over to our room I noticed that the wallpaper is peeling. This place is legit. Unpretentious and almost bohemian. 

Oh man. This must be like some sort of snob eradication tool. Only snobs would try to push the down button. Their snob sweat causing an electrical current to flow from the exposed wiring to their snob heart, killing them instantly.   

Ah, the good ole Monte Carlo. Can't complain for $120/night when the MGM Grand was going for $180/night. The actual room itself was fairly nice and very standard fare.

To kickstart our Vegas weekend, I booked dinner at L'Atelier de Joel Robuchon. I can't afford the full Joel Robuchon experience so we opted for the more casual fare at L'Atelier. 

Vegas is becoming a fine dining mecca. The West Coast only has two 3 star Michelin restaurants. Napa with French Laundry and it's not LA or SF but Vegas with the other: Joel Robuchon.Vegas now has 1 - 3 star, 3 - 2 star and 12- 1 star restaurants. LA on the contrary has 0 - 3 star, 3 - 2 star and 11- 1 star. 

You'll have to excuse me. Some of the photos are from Kevineats because our camera is on its last legs. I promise I'll get a new one for Oktoberfest. 

  

The front of the restaurant. Slots ringing up a storm about 30 feet away but once you step inside you won't notice it. 

Looking down the bar. The rationale behind the bar arrangement was to bring the diner and the chef/server/sommelier closer together. 

The view from your seat. As you can see, the point is for it to be an intimate dining experience. The smells, sights and sounds of the kitchen are all part of the meal. 

We opted for the 9 course tasting seasonal discovery tasting menu. Retail price $155. And now at the new spectacularly low price of $155. 

In tiny print they point out there's a wine pairing to go along with this for $105. I sat there contemplating how many zeros that was for a meal and was going to suggest to the SO a nice glass of wine to go with our meal. I hemmed and hawed at which glass to get when the SO looked at me and said, "We're in Vegas. Let's live a little. I'll pay for it" so I promptly ordered the wine pairing and wondered how the hell I managed to trick this girl into marrying me. 

L’AMUSE-BOUCHE

l'avocat rafraichi d'une fine gelée de pamplemousse à la coriandre
Avocado and cilantro flavored grapefruit gelee

A very nice Champagne was served with the amuse bouche.

LE CRABE ROYAL

aux fines lamelles de raves à l'aigre-doux
King crab on a turnip disc with a sweet and sour sauce

Very, very delicious. Paired with a pinot grigio, I believe. 

LA SAINT-JACQUES
cuite en coquille à l'huile de ciboulette épicée
Sea scallop cooked in the shell with chive oil

A little too buttery but the lemon brought some zest back into the dish. 

LA CEBETTE
blanche sur une flamiche aux asperges et lard fumé
White onion tart with smoked bacon and asparagus

The puff pastry underneath was great. Loved the bacon. Who doesn't love bacon though. Robuchon is almost cheating. 

LE FOIE GRAS
chaud de canard au confit de kumquats acidulées
Duck foie gras with confit kumquats

My absolute favorite dish. Paired with a nice Riesling. I almost cried it was so good. Seriously. 

LA SOLE
en filets, jeunes poireaux étuvés au gingembre
Dover sole filet, baby leek with ginger

The sole was okay. I think after the high of the foie grais, any dish that immediately follows is gonna be a bit sole-less. Don't think for a minute I was gonna be all high-class throughout this post. 

LA HAMPE
de bœuf à l'échalote
French-style hanger steak with fried shallots

The SO isn't a big fan of foie gras so she opted for the steak. I got more foie gras. 

LA CAILLE
au foie gras, caramélisée avec une pomme purée truffée
Foie gras stuffed free-range quail with truffled-mashed potatoes

Both dishes were paired with a very nice cabernet sauvignon. Once again absolutely spectacular. 

LA NOISETTE
en biscuit dacquoise, gianduja à la feuillantine au goût chocolat
Hazelnut dacquoise, gianduja crunch and chocolate ice cream

Not a big fan of foamy stuff but still thought this was good. 

LA PASSION
en crème glacée à la mousse de noix de coco sur une transparence de Champagne
Fresh passion fruit in a coconut meringue, Champagne brut

This was the better of the two desserts. At this point of the meal we've had 8 courses and about 4 glasses of wine/champagne plus our pre-dinner cocktail so we were pretty loaded. 

In case you forgot where you were dining. 

The reality of what just happened was made aware by the piece of paper in this little folder. Still, I have to say that this is now one of my Top 5 dinners. The service was amazing. The server and the sommelier knew their stuff. The sommelier was particularly cool. He took the time to explain to us how he selected the wine, the notes on the wine, etc. Food was top notch and everything was prepared brilliantly. I came in with high expectations but left with a sense of contentment, knowing that I just had one of the best meals of my life. 

Oh yeah, this was supposed to be about living up the party life and my youth. Not about fine dining and wine pairing.



. To be continued....

I have this problem all the time. Chauvinist pigs!

Keeping you entertained one Youtube clip at a time

While I write up the Vegas post here's something to pass the time.

Summer hiatus

I haven't been posting much due to work, social activities and sheer laziness so to really kick up the laziness I'm taking a break from posting until end of next week or whenever my brain recovers from the 48 hour bender I will partake while in Vegas this weekend. 

Drinks are on the house if I win big. 

Tops of the Pops

I'm a sucker for cheesy pop music. I have no problems listening to Ke$ha or engaging in Bieber Fever but nothing beats rap and R&B from the 90's. Maybe it's the old man syndrome kicking in but music from my teenage years still demolishes anything that's out in the music world right now.

A lot of people these days associate Ice Cube more with his film forays than his music. Turns in family friendly affairs like Are We There Yet or Barber Shop or action/thriller films Torque, XXX:2, Anaconda show his acting repertoire.

So even seeing pictures of him back in the N.W.A days when he was gangsta rappin' kinda can't overcome the wholesome image he's built up for himself.  On a sidenote, N.W.A. was one of THE most influential rap groups in the late 80s early 90s. Their music brought the plight of the inner city to the mainstream and songs like Fuck the Police brought attention to the police brutality against minorities. I mean come on, who makes music like that anymore? Katy Perry or the Black Eyed Peas won't be causing people to discuss subjects of debate anytime soon unless people are trying to figure out which booty shaking song would be good for the company mixer. 

Ice Cube in his gangsta rap days. Would you like some juice packs with your AK-47? 

So, recently I came across this youtube clip of Ice Cube with Jimmy Fallon's house band The Roots and was starkly reminded that damn Ice Cube can still rap and my god music, or even specifically rap, of today pales in comparison to this. 

You know when some 40 year old white dudes from Brooklyn can outrap most everyone out there the music scene is crap.



I'm totally gonna be the old man telling his kids that their current generation sucks and going on about how things were in my day. But you know what? It was better back in the day.

Locomotion

According to my highly academic research aka Google and Wikipedia, Los Angeles has the highest per-capita car population in the world.  These statistics are not surprising considering the following wonderful characteristics of Los Angeles, A)  horrid public transportation infrastructure

That above is the subway map for Los Angeles. I believe it serves about .01% of the population. Almost as useful as Steven Seagal in a real bar fight. I've given up on trying to remove him from my blog writing thought process. I'm letting the tidal wave of Steven Seagal-ism wash over me like a tepid aikido wave. You win Seagal. This time.

 B) the suburban crawl that has caused Los Angeles county to cover 4000 square miles, bigger than the entire country of Luxembourg.

C) the constant need for Angelenos to floss that whip while driving around. For those unaccustomed to American urban vernacular "floss that whip" means to publicly showcase your automobile in hopes of winning praise and attention from the opposite sex or to incite jealousy in those who envy your financial success. Used as thus: 

- Person A:  B Hizzle be flossing that whip, yo. What he done did? 

- Person B:  don't know man but he got the honeys all wanting to be the baby's mama. 

- Person A: Fo' shizzle. 

So, you'd expect my commute to work to be fairly standard. I'll give you a glimpse into my commute. 

Start of the morning. 

Yeah, son. Rolling in style. My GT has got 21 gears AND an ergonomic seat. Don't be hatin' because my ride has got 1/5 of a horsepower. I mean, I think I generate 1/5 of a power of a horse. Honestly, how much power does 1 horse generate. 

So every morning I get up around 6:20 and then leave the house around 6:40. First leg of the journey is a 3 mile bike ride to the Northridge Metrolink station.

The classy welcome sign. I'd want to put classy in quotes but then the SO might get mad at me for making fun of the Valley again. 

The lovely Metrolink train. Guess how much it costs for a roundtrip ticket from Northridge to Downtown L.A. Nope. Tack on another 100% to that guess. It's $14.75 for a roundtrip ticket. Good thing the company I'm interning for is paying for it or you'd get to hear me whine incessantly that I'm paying 15 dollars every day so that I can complete my 2.5 hour roundtrip commute every day. To make up for that lack of whining you get Steven Seagal rants. You're welcome. 

I work on the 28th floor of this building in Downtown LA. The view makes it easy to daydream and think about stuff other than how to fit 5 charts into 1 powerpoint slide or if my clipart has been distributed horizontally across the slide.

Now pictures I took on my commute home. 

The Metrolink station is located in between a trash processing facility and this huge electrical station.  I can hear those giant transformers buzzing all the time. I hope I'm not growing a third testicle. B-Hizzle. Now with Extra Testosterone. 

At the far end of the station's parking lot there's this youth center. Problem is I never ever see youths playing outside or inside. Actually, I never see anyone near it. 

This youth center is also surrounded by barbed wires. The entire perimeter is fenced up. Definitely looks like those youths will be having lots of fun. What the hell is the point of this place? Oh, so their website says the center "will provide the youth of this area with enriching, rewarding and instructive experiences thereby assisting in their development into mature, responsible adults. PALS will strive to be an outstanding citizen in the community by“Giving Youth a Brighter Tomorrow”. They are definitely promoting the right message but making the place look like a minimum security jail. Hey kids? Think school is like a jail? Well, we got a place that can really make you feel like you're doing 5-10 for grand theft auto and phonics. 

The place won an award for beautifying the area. I guess when you're surrounded by a trash facility and testicle growing electrical station then a barbed wire enclosed youth center is a step up. I'd consider that a blemish, the Northridge community calls it beauty. 

To the contractor who decided to build the fence that encloses nothing but is topped with barbed wire. That is just o-fence-ive. 

And with that, it is my bedtime. In about 6 hours I'm back on my bike, harnessing the raw power of B-Hizzle so that I can get into work on time.