On Wednesday we had a discussion regarding national identity in our Global Context of Management class. It was very much a relevant topic for me because of my upbringing. I was born and raised in the US but my parents made it a point to remind of me of my heritage. We only spoke Japanese at home, my mom mostly cooked Japanese food, we celebrate Japanese holidays such as Children's Day, Setsubun, Hina Matsuri, etc. We had Ohinamasa
and Koinobori's at our home
Growing up I spent almost every summer in Japan with my extended family. I took pride in that I was as Japanese as I was American. Hot dogs and sushi. But, as I got older I realized that no one ever accepted me as being Japanese. I looked the part. I talked the part. Yet, I'd frequently hear "You're so American. Just a tad bit different than us." As a kid looking for acceptance that really bothered me. What more did I need to become Japanese? Back in the US no one ever questioned my American-ness. I was never asked to prove how American I was. In Japan it was different though. You had to know the culture, traditions, language, be born there before you were accepted. Actually, that's not even really the case. Take for example the Korean-Japanese living in Japan. The 2nd generation Korean-Japanese are still considered outsiders because of their last name or ancestry.
I had a tough name reconciling who I was. Was I more Japanese or more American? I felt Japanese but was never considered welcomed into the society. Could I be Japanese and still be "American" Somehow I felt out of place. By the time I was in high school I completely gave up trying to think of myself as being 50/50 Japanese American. This was also when I started really reading about the Japanese Americans in America and started to truly find my identity. When I was in college I worked at the
Japanese American National Museum as a Curatorial Intern. Talking to the 2nd, 3rd, 4th generation JAs there who went through racism, internment, WWII and how they held onto their Japanese culture while reveling in the American culture was really when everything clicked. I stopped thinking of my identity as being binary. I wasn't half Japanese or half American but a mixture of both. My life incorporates the best of both worlds and I should be absolutely grateful for that. The second guessing of who I was stopped.
I still find the lack of acceptance of Japanese culture just so peculiar. Historically, you could relate it to Japan being closed off from the world for so long until Commodore Perry and his Black Ships showed up in 1853 or a myriad of other historical/cultural influences. Whatever. When I read this article
japan-its-not-funny-anymore by a writer living in Japan I totally agreed with so many of the negatives of Japan. Especially the insistence of following the status quo. My own personal anecdote related to following the status quo.
About 10 years ago I was travelling with my parents in Japan. We were waiting for our next train and stopped into a kissaten aka a small restaurant/cafe inside the train station. My parents and I probably had about 5 bags with us so finding space to put all these bags was difficult due to the small ass tables and chairs surrounding us. The layout of the restaurant was such that there was a row of tables along the side wall of the cafe. Similar to this just not as fancy or red.
Now most of the tables were taken up where a single guy took up one table and all the dudes were seated with their backs to their wall. All of them were seated in that way. Now, it happened to be that no one was sitting at our table next to us so I placed my belongings on the bench/seat next to me, which happened to be the seat with the back to the wall. My thinking was that since most likely the person who would sit next to us would be a lone businessman he would just in the seat that faces the wall. Yeah he'd look at my ugly bags but I really had nowhere else to put them. I couldn't put them in the walkway because it would be a hazard for the waitresses. So this guy walks up to the open table and looks at my bags and then looks at me. I stared at him with a what do you want look. You know what he made me freaking do? He made me move my bags so that he could sit with his back to the wall just like everyone else. WTF. He couldn't be the lone guy who happened to be sitting in a fashion counter to everyone else. I had to move all my bags to the other seat so he could sit there. Now that I think about it I should've just said no. I would take satisfaction in denying him his seat but I think even the principle of him asking me would still tick me off. There are so many examples of stuff like that that I just find so odd about Japan.
Anyways, end of rant over. I've already lost my American citizenship due to my attendance at Canadian thanksgiving maybe I'll lose my Japanese citizenship next. Ohhhh Canada.....Our home and native land...I hope you got room for one more.
