The intersection of God and Marriage

I am not religious. The SO jokes that if I put my finger in holy water, the water would start bubbling. I sometimes call the Holy Bible the greatest fiction story ever told. That's the kind of non-religious person I am. 

The SO on the other hand is fairly religious. She's been baptized and did her First Communion, Confirmation and Reconciliation. Thus, we're getting married in a Catholic Church. 

I really have nothing against religion. Before I was staunchly against organized religion and felt that it was used as a system of power to oppress and subdue the masses. This was partly driven by my History education, which gave me numerous examples of Church utilizing their God-vested powers to subjugate and exploit the uneducated masses. Having met the SO, talked to her about religion and attended several Masses my views have changed. I feel that religion, more specifically, faith is actually quite helpful. It serves to provide values in a person's life, offers support in times of stress and pressure and provides a community of friends who are more than willing to provide aid in times of need. Anyways, I'll still never really be religious so I was quite anxious when I had to attend....

I don't even know why I was anxious. It was probably because I wasn't sure what we were gonna do for the 44 hours we were supposed to be there. Were they gonna try to brainwash us? Was this some sort of secret cult meeting? What kind of food were they gonna serve? Jesus cakes?

So we got there and didn't realize there were gonna be so many people. 58 couples attended our session and they came from all over LA County. We met couples from Pasadena, the Valley, Palmdale, etc. How uur accommodations were gonna be was another big question. 

Turns out the DePaul Center is?/was? a large seminary so they had two buildings that were dorms. This was my "room". They had like 20 of these pod like rooms on each wing of the building with the bathrooms/showers  in the middle. There is no ceiling above my room so you can hear the wonderful cacophony of sounds from all your other male dorm mates. Luckily our wing did not have crazy loud snorers.  

The hallways of our dorm looked like this. Hence, I did not go to the bathroom in the middle of the night for fear of A) seeing a tiny little girl standing at the end of the hallway B) a skeletal zombie hand shooting out of the curtains C) a priest standing there waiting for me (I kid, I kid)

The days were filled with all kinds of talk with topics like "How to Argue Fairly", "Natural Family Planning", etc. Basically the weekend is designed to get you to open up to your SO and discuss how you feel, what your expectations are and how much you love each other. Of course this openness does lead to issues and we heard from another couple that the previous week 3 couples left after the first day after they realized they weren't ready for marriage. Kudos for them. Better that they realize this now than after they're married. Although the thought of losing all of our deposits makes me think maybe divorce is cheaper. Do you have to return wedding gifts if you get divorced? Haha...

The SO is just as bad as I am at taking things seriously so we weren't the best participants in this engaged encounter. Partly because we've discussed a lot of the big issues such as kids, financial management, living arrangements, parent care, etc. so no big issues came about. The only time I saw her genuinely excited and interested was when she heard the ice cream truck go by. I've never seen that girl run faster. 

I don't even know what that is. It's like radioactive ice cream. I'm never feeding my kids this. Only organic, soy ice cream with no preservatives and non-natural ingredients. Haha jk. Go ahead offspring. All the chemicals only make you stronger. 

The one thing we did discuss that we have never talked about was "What do we do if we can't have kids" Scary thought but I'm glad that the weekend encounter made us think about our contingency plans if this ever happened: We're adopting.

In the end the encounter was pretty enlightening. The SO called it couples therapy since there was a lot of clapping, group discussions and people opening up about their feelings for each other. I also realized that the Bible really was like Pirate Code, they're more what'd you call guidelines than actual rules. The influence of religion on this whole encounter weekend was fairly minimal. Yes, they had Mass and they did suggest to pray  as the first step before making a decision. Other than that, it wasn't intrusive. I'm glad.  

Marriage is a scary thing. It's supposed to be a union of two lives FOREVER. Seems pretty crazy when you think about it. FOREVER. I can't emphasize this enough. F.O.R.E.V.E.R. 

After this weekend encounter and now more than ever, I feel like marriage is just a giant problem solving case. It's a continuous series of  questions that are thrown at a couple. How successful they are in solving those problems is how well their marriage will work. Who will take care of the kids? Where will we live? How are we going to afford this? When will we decide that our kid is just leeching off us and not providing any benefit (question my parents ask themselves) Why did I marry you? 

It's why, to put it realistically, you need a good teammate and a partner. One who is smart, capable and flexible enough to work through all the issues life throws at you. The care and affection that you have for each other just makes you want to work harder together to make things work. But, in the end, the forward progression of marriage and life cannot be made without those decisions made with your partner. I'm hoping that our marriage is more like Warren Buffet's management committee and less like Enron. 

This is so intense I couldn't watch it all the way through

You gotta admire good writers and crazy eyebrows

And I also found this....

Worky worky

Well, I've finally returned to the workforce. My 2.5 year vacation is over and I've got a lifetime of work ahead of me. During orientation today I learned that I wouldn't be receiving my retirement benefits until 2045. That sounds so far into the future it's kinda depressing. By then we better have hologram conference calls and flying pod people movers. I want to spend my pension and 401k money on cool stuff that I'll probably complain about while telling my grandchildren that we had it so much better thirty years ago.

Anyways, I'm still too lazy to write up a post about the Catholic Engaged Encounter Weekend so here's an ad from Target where Asian Americans aren't doing kung-fu or driving badly or other stereotypical things.

Crazy Japanese games

The name of the game, translated literally, is Knock Down the Pole. Boutaoshi

My kind of dad

Stay At Home Dad Channel
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Hipsters, PBR and a wedding

Hipsters. They seem to be everywhere these days. Drinking their PBR and smoking American Native cigarettes. They condescendingly reply that they first heard Arcade Fire when they played in some grungy bar in Brooklyn after you excitedly ask them if they've heard of that new band Arcade Fire. They love taking pictures of their fixed gear bike on their iPhones using the Hipstamatic app. It's analog but still digital. So hip. 

I don't loathe hipsters or hate them. I find the whole movement funny. I understand that like many other sub-cultures such as goth, punk, skater, etc. hipsters want to disassociate themselves from mass culture because mass culture is uncool and definitely not hip. Ironically, the hipster movement has shifted into the mainstream. Stores like Urban Outfitters and American Apparel cater to hipsters with their striped shirts, cardigans and vintage looking sweaters. You know you've gone mainstream when you have an entire hotel dedicated towards your niche group but the main point of this post was not a discourse in the hipster movement but to go over my Palm Springs wedding weekend. 

Wedding season is upon us. The first wedding of the summer was for my two UCLA friends and took place at Ace Hotel in Palm Springs. When I first saw that they were getting married at Ace Hotel I thought it was a perfect location for them. Very cool and hip. Something that the SO and I are not so we were intrigued as to what hip people do and like. As noted in the previous paragraphs, hipsters (I'll use the term loosely here) like retro stuff. Well the Ace Hotel is quite retro. It was an old Howard Johnson motel that was updated to its current iteration. Some of the words used to describe the hotel are "minimalist", "desert chic", "hip", and "cool".  I'll let the pictures....and my commentary do the talking. Nice looking pictures courtesy of another wedding guest. 

Wood signage. Wood is so hip now. So organic and natural.

So faded. So cool.

The commune. Hipsters apparently share interests with the hippies. 

For 159 bucks a night I expected a bit more from our room. I did love the bed though. The mattress was incredibly comfy. 

I thought sepia tone would make the room look cooler. It just looks dirtier. 

Retro radio/alarm clock.Still has the hookups for the iPod though. Can't be hip without an Apple product. 

Snacks. I thought I took a picture of the $30 box wine they had as part of the room's drink bar. Guess my camera refused to take part in the irony of it. 

It's a USPS mail bag turned into a laundry bag. It's hip to recycle. 

The wedding itself was simply beautiful and it was great to see old UCLA friends again. 

The wedding took place in the "commune". I'm simply amazed that no one fell into the pool. The other cool part of the commune building was that the entire glass side of the building opened up like a garage door. I want something like that for my future house....when I can afford it in like 40 years.

The food was simply amazing. It was served family style and there was more than enough food for everyone. We ate lunch, dinner and then another lunch at Ace Hotel and each meal was really delicious. Of course, all food was locally sourced and/or organic. I swear hipsters are like hippies with more money, equally horrible fashion sense, and a disdain for the "establishment" whatever that means. 

Seeing the newly wedded couple enjoying their first dance while a slideshow of old UCLA pictures played in the background was quite surreal. It's been over ten years since I first met my UCLA friends and now a decade later we were gathered to celebrate a marriage. Simply amazing when you think about life, growing up and getting older. 

So when we were checking out I saw this flyer for an event taking place at the hotel. If you can't read the flyer it says...

"Happening every full moon 6:00PM to 9:00PM on the Moroccan Patio. Desert Rhythms Drum Circle Courtesy of Crystal Fantasy"

Yeah....I definitely don't belong here. 

All in all a wonderful wedding and the SO and I got to feel cool for a fleeting moment. Upon returning back to LA we went back to our bland, traditional ways. It felt good to be home.

I don't know if they'll let me take pictures but this weekend is the Engaged Encounter Weekend. Yay for Catholic church administered marriage counseling. The SO reassures me that this is just one weekend and it won't kill me. Yeah and the Spanish Inquisition was just so that the church could talk to certain people. 

When I have kids this is what I'll be doing with their toys

As funny as the Avatar/Pocahontas connection

"For over two decades, Kenobi has been the Jedi rebellion’s leader and symbol,” the Lord of the Sith said in a statement broadcast across the galaxy via HoloNet. “The death of Kenobi marks the most significant achievement to date in our empire’s effort to defeat the rebel alliance. But his death does not mark the end of our effort. There’s no doubt that the rebellion will continue to pursue attacks against us. We must and we will remain vigilant at home and abroad.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi is Dead says Lord Vader

Vegas Bachexoplosion

My college buddy is getting married in July. Like any red-blooded West Coast male, he decided that Vegas would be where the debauchery would happen. The goal of the weekend, to mourn the loss of another brother   to the soul-sucking shackles of married life. Just kidding....

We got suites at the Vdara Hotel. Simply amazing hotel room and I'll recommend this hotel to everyone. The only downside is that the hotel doesn't have a casino on-site but all you have to do is walk over to Aria and you've got 150,000 sq.ft of casino floor where you can lose your paycheck 15x over. 

The hallway leading going past the dining room and heading to the living room. 

The dining room. Seating for 4 or at least 1 tiger. 

Our suite had a 270 degree view of Vegas but it was the crappy part of Vegas without the fake Statue of Liberty, Eiffel Tower, Great Pyramids, etc. Hmm...maybe it was the better part of Vegas. 

The suite was 811 sq. foot, so can comfortably fit about 3 of the NYC apartments that are in my price range. Depressing. 

Rub a dub dub. A tub. With a view. 

In case you needed to get the stripper tears, baby lotion, hooker blood off your clothing they had a washer/dryer. It may or may not have been used over the course of the trip. 

Friday night we all got in and did some bachelor stuff for the rest of the night. You know, just good 'ole fashioned clean bachelor fun. 

The first manly activity of Saturday was to shoot guns. In "I hate freedom" California, we can't have automatic weapons but Nevada loves America and its Constitution so we were allowed to fire automatic rifles. 

The wall o' guns. 

The cabinet o' handguns. For the ladies they had some pink guns for sale. It's funny because it's so cute but yet so deadly. Like a baby with ebola. 

In one of the Vegas coupon books they had this Get Dirty in Vegas experience. Since it's Get Dirty for kids it's a literal Get Dirty and not a "Get Dirty" it involved bulldozers and other construction equipment. The joke was that they were making people pay to do the leftover construction work for City Center. 

The bachelor taking aim at the target. He's got an AK-47 in his hands and danger is his middle name. 

He promises it was self defense. 

I chose to shoot the M-16. Even though I live in America, home of the free and land of the guns I've never shot a gun before. I figured, well if I'm gonna shoot something might as well shoot something cool. 

Look at that grouping. All those years playing Call of Duty actually translated into something. 

Later that night we headed over towards Lagasse Stadium to watch UFC 129.  

We got a nice little corner area and proceeded to devour $762 worth of bar food and alcohol. It was spectacular. After that it was off to Lavo nightclub. By sheer luck we got a table right next to a bachelorette party and I definitely have to thank them for making the evening fun for the bachelor and friends. The funniest part of the night for me was when some dude walks up to me and asked, "So, are you guys internet millionaires or finance guys." Since most of us worked in some area of finance, I answered "Finance". He replied, "Sweet. I bet my friend that you guys worked in Finance." Sweet. So added to the myth of Asians are good at math, have Tiger moms and can't drive we can add we all work in finance or on the intarweb. 

The bachelor party ended successfully and without a casualty. We didn't lose the bachelor or mistakenly kidnap a small, naked Asian man. We did make some great memories, eat tons of greasy food and feel more manly than masculinely possible. Vegas is the wonderland of bachelor parties. I can't wait to go back. 

The gears are slowly turning

Lot happened this weekend. Was in Vegas for a bachelor party (not mine) and then on my JetBlue flight home found out about Osama's capture/death. Big stuff for my brain to process. Vegas party post will come tomorrow so stay tuned. Don't worry it's rated PG-13 for mild violence, crude language and adult humor. The NC-17 version will only be available to select audiences via Director's commentary and in Real 3-D aka real life.