Mailing it in.

It's been a week and a half since I got back from Vegas. Remembering where these pictures came from is almost as hard as finding a food place open at 3am in Barcelona. Impossible. For all the partying that happens in Barcelona they lack post party drunk food. No dirty dogs grilling outside a club. No 24 hour diners. No bueno. 

So here's my half assed attempt to guide you through the rest of the Vegas weekend. 

It's a Statue of Liberty made out of Jelly Beans. Why? It's Vegas. The land of stupid ideas that somehow make sense.

The beautiful Vegas strip at night. I think I took this at 2am Saturday night after our meal at L'Atelier. I don't even remember walking back to the hotel. Ooops. I do remember thinking gambling would be a good idea. Double oops. 

Flash forward 8 hours and I'm at the Monte Carlo pool. Slightly hung over and dehydrated so had a couple Bud Lights to start the morning. I don't typically start drinking at 10am but when in Vegas right? I hope my kids never find this blog. 

Don't worry kids. Daddy isn't a drunk. He's just easily seduced by the muse that is called Las Vegas. Vegas is a land of sin and vice so stay away. Future daughter, whatever your name may be, you especially stay away from Vegas. Future son, make sure to get ALL the glitter off before you head home. Also, she is never just working to pay off her college tuition. 

Love, Dad. 

His torso has just left the building. Thank you very much. *Elvis voice*

This is the hallway that is sandwiched between a jewelry store and the high rollers area at Aria. I imagine if Superman was a rich Chinese man he'd decorate his Fortress of Solitude like this.

Would you like some cake?

Fancy cakes.

MGM, after blowing about 8 billion dollars building City Center, decided that what Vegas needed was another mall filled with high-end retail stores. LV, Fendi, Prada, etc. etc.

Investors have been thrilled....



Cascading waterfall outside Aria. Looks beautiful and great for inducing urination.

Our travel companion suggested that we hit up the M Hotel Saturday night to try out their buffet. For $29.99 you get an all you can eat buffet. The buffet has 200 items to choose from AND free beer and wine. Absolutely ridiculous. Food was really good and their Coors light was nice and cold. Mmmm cheap domestic beer.

The SO went on her typical binge. This was plate 1 of 8. Okay okay, you got me. I was just jokng. It was plate 2...of 8.

...and then Sunday for lunch we went to Hubert Keller's critically praised Burger Bar.

Wait. What happened between buffet and Sunday morning? Well...Encore hotel, XS nightclub, fire marshals and 40 year old ladies dry humping  piano players. Good times.

So noted French chef Hubert Keller, of Fleur de Lys fame, started a chain of casual burger bars called Burger Bar.

No idea what this burger is. Let's just call it Vegas Burger Awesome-O.

My burger. I tried to be healthy by adding spinach on it.

Our flight back to LA wasn't until 7:30 pm Sunday night so the SO and I bade farewell to our friends who drove to Vegas and headed off to kill some time at the Bellagio hotel. Every season the atrium at the Bellagio has a different floral arrangement. This season was a Honey I Shrunk the Kids motif.

Battle ants with their pincers of doom.

It's a snail. I'm running out of jokes.

I see London, I see France, I see a cheesy replica of what was considered a testament to 19th century civil engineering now bastardized by the same people who offer margaritas in yard long plastic bongs.

Ka-

Boom.
Yes, SO, I stole another one of your jokes for my blog. When you have your own blog you can steal my jokes.

We traveled into the near future of 5:15 pm and boarded this tram to get from the Bellagio back to the Monte Carlo. Picked up our bags, went to the airport and flew off into the Vegas sunset. 

8 pounds heavier, $$$ dollars lighter and 10294838975194 brain cells deader, we were back in LA. 

Viva Las Vegas.