The story of how Bizzle met his SO

Why do I have this video on my blog? Well, get yourselves comfortable folks because I have a story for you...

September 2004. It was my first job out of college and I was excited to be part of the Deloitte team. It was the first week of training and from 9-5 we were barraged with the do's and don'ts of our new jobs. Amidst all this we had icebreakers and other get to know you type activities. We had one game where we had to tell 1 truth and 2 lies. Fun game. My truth was that I was in a music video back in college. I'll save that story for another time. 

Anyways, people in my class had actually seen the video and we got to talking about it. The not an SO at this point SO said to me "oh cool you were famous" or something of that sort. Supposedly I curtly replied "I know" (SO's version of the story). I don't recollect saying that to her but I also thought she was an Ice Queen due to my previous interaction with her. Great start to our friendship. 

The Friday before we were to head off to NorCal for our off-site training, we were warned by our HR team to not be that guy/gal. You know that person. The person who does something foolish or stupid and becomes known only for that act. Oh yeah I know XXX. Wasn't he the one that barfed on the partner? I didn't think much of it and just laughed at the people stupid enough to become known as "that guy/gal"

Tuesday night. Oh, I distinctly remember being in that hotel room and drinking up a storm. Apparently I was shouting at everyone. It was a good time. That night. Not a good time. I spent the entire evening in my bathroom throwing up.

8am. Somehow I made it to our class. For the past 3 days I've been at a table of 4 that included the future SO. Today was the same. Well, not really the same, because I was ridiculously hungover when I got to class and my body felt wrecked. I desperately tried not to be "that guy". 8:40. We start our first group assignment. I forget what it was but I remember I was tired and I needed to yawn. Staring at the ceiling, I yawned as wide as I could. My brain needed oxygen. Ahh. Yawn over and feeling a bit better.

Wait. How come my mouth won't close. The brief bit of panic turned into chaos in my brain. What was going on? Why won't my mouth close. I didn't hear anything pop or break. It's just stuck open. I tried to keep cool and massaged my jaw right under my ear. Maybe it was out of place? Pushing it left and right didn't do anything. My tablemates were engrossed in their work. Damn them and their working jaws. For 5 desperate minutes I tried everything to get my jaws to move. Nothing. Won't go up or down. 

It was time for action. I bolted to the assistant proctor and tried to explain my situation. Well, have you tried to talk to a person without being able to move your jaw? Yeah you end up sounding like that girl. "Uah. Uah. Uah." To this day I thank god the proctor immediately asked. "Are you okay? Is something wrong with your jaw?" An enthusiastic head nod along with another "Uah!" was all I could do. 

They rushed me to the lead proctor and "Dean" of the training. The situation was immediately explained and I was rushed to hospital via hotel shuttle bus. I thought the worst was over. 

I sat in the waiting room for about 2 hours while the doctors were helping other people. I sat there next to the Dean with my mouth agape, reeking of alcohol and looking like shit. By this time my mouth had completely dried up. The beauty of the situation was that by now I wasn't feeling hungover anymore. I guess panic and fear causes your body to normalize itself pretty quickly. 

After about 2.5 hours I was ushered into the emergency room where I waited another 15 minutes until the doctor came over. The doctor casually walked over and started asking me questions. "Is your jaw stuck? How did it happen? While eating? Yawning?" By this time I didn't bother trying to vocalize my thoughts. Gestures would suffice.  The doctor started talking about how this happens to people eating burgers all the time and that once your jaw becomes dislocated, it's easy for it to happen again. DISLOCATED. How embarrassing. I just managed to dislocate my jaw by yawning. That's like hurting yourself in a padded room. 

The doctor slipped on some gloves and stuck his thumbs into my mouth. He pushed down gently and my jaw popped back into place. The first words out of my mouth were "Thank you so much Dr. That feels so much better" After 3.5 hours, FREEEEDOOOMMMMM.

I headed back to class and had to explain my story to my tablemates. For the rest of the training session I had to tell my story. Over and over again. My story became widely known throughout the class. Did it hurt? What was it like? Why did you yawn so big? Throughout all this I had become "that guy".

In the end did I win the heart of my SO with my antics? No. Actually her thought was what a dork. Ah, yes the seed had been planted. The seed had been planted...