Saturday, October 30, 2010

Pragueberfest Part 5 of 5. The Conclusion.

The end is near. 

By the time we reached our last day in Prague we've pretty much seen everything in the city so we decided to explore areas outside. On a 5 hour tour. A 5 hour touuuuuuurrr.














Deloitte Prague. They're everywhere. Like cockroaches but not as cute.


















Our first stop. Kostnice Ossuary Beinhaus. What is it? It's the Kostnice Ossuary Beinhaus. Duh.


















So why did we spend an hour in a bus to end up at this unassuming church?














Well it's because we were visiting the Sedlec Ossuary or Bone Church in Kutna Hora. The bone church became the burial site du jour because of some holy miracle happening on the church site in the 1200s. It was such a hot burial site that people were just dying to be there. Yep, still got it. 


















The Black Death helped things along by killing everyone in its path. Pretty soon the cemetery and vaults were overflowing with bones so the church enlisted someone they thought would be great for the job of tidying up the place, a half-blind monk.



















Supposedly this chandelier has every bone in the human body as part of its structure. Impressive in its morbidity and creativity.


















Who knew the half blind monk was an FC Barcelona fan.





















Would Jesus approve of this? WWJT?
Okay I get it. There are a ton of bones. 

This mini exhibit was showcasing the wonderful dentistry of the time. I believe dentistry of the Middle Ages involved getting drunk and clubbing each other. 

Close up of the chandelier. Who knew the pelvic bone would be such a great decorative element.  

















Enough bones. It's time for some non bone related tourist sites. A statue of a man. Okay still better than bones, I guess.














Some flowers and trees. No bones here.


















The inside courtyard of this mansion. Do I remember what this mansion was for? No. Could I look it up? Yes. Am I going to? No. Should I stop asking myself questions that I know the answer to?














It's a courtyard. Bah what do you want from me? Fine. The city of Kutna Hora is a UNESCO World Heritage site. This courtyard is part of the Italian Court, formerly a royal residence and mint. Kutna Hora was known for its silver mines. THERE. What I do for you lazy readers.

Another Gothic church. These things are like the McDonalds of European cities. Always in the best locations and serving up unhealthy stuff to the masses. 

Walking through the cities.


















A pink building of some sorts.














Lunch was provided at the Dacicky Pivnice.

Fun and family friendly pictures. I hope there's more like that. 

Being led into the back room.

Oh how cute. It's actually holding the candles like they were some cool spears of fire.
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Oh looks like more family friendly pictures. Let's take a closer look here. 














What in the world is going on here? Why is that man blue? Why are boobs okay to draw but the penis isnt? Do I sense some penis envy by the artist? And does he harbor some resentment towards Smurfs?


I have no idea what is going on in this one, which was next to the Raping Smurf. What kind of dragon is that? An elephant dragon? 

After being subjected to such disturbing imagery we tried to erase the images out of our brain by drinking beer. Didn't work. All I can think about are raging Smurfs and the Dragophant. 

I believe the description of this was fried cheese. Thought we were in the US again. 














The tour guide hauled us off our fried cheese and beer addled butts and made us head towards the main attraction.

The entrance to a mine. Didn't know Czech miners were also hobbits.  















Tourists heading to the main attraction. Want to guess what the main attraction is?

Yes, a church! I bet you would have never guessed that. Do you care what the church is called?  Neither do I. I can't even hide my apathetic attitude. 

You'll notice the photography gets better from here on out. The SO took over camera duties. 



God giving the stiff arm. He might've been a good wide receiver.  



This is the saint protecting miners. I found it funny when I said it out loud. A Catholic saint protecting miners. 

Ornately carved benches. This is the devil. He looks a bit like Hagrid from Harry Potter. 





Uhhh..I don't know what this was for. It just looks sinister. 

Almost postcard quality.

The SO and I had done no souvenir shopping so we  used the remainder of our last day walking around and checking out Prague.














We stumbled into this soap shop. It was overrun with Chinese tourists. With the intensity these people were shopping for stuff you would have expected that the soaps were full of bios of beautiful, subservient, smart enough women so that the moms could marry off their sons . 

Nope looks like its just soap. 

Absinthe and subtlety. Not a good combo. 

The streets are always so clean. 

Walking makes us hungry. Time for a snack. 


















The Trdelik is a traditional pastry from Slovak. 1 please!

Kinda like if you took a croissant, hollowed it out and then slathered Nutella in it. 

Public hangings still occur in Prague. This man was caught stealing confidential information. Just kidding it's just a weird statue of a man hanging. 

This is pretty self explanatory. It's not even worth me typing out a joke. 

The last dinner we had was at this really nice Italian place called Aldente. No offense to the Czech people but we were getting sick of eating meat.


An interesting salad with hardened cheese, eggplants, bell peppers, zucchini and some other veggies. 














The tin foil was actually shaped like a duck. It reminded me of the towels I got when I went on a cruise.

The aftermath of my seafood pasta dish. 


With that.....we are finally done. Pragueberfest comprised 5 posts, close to 100 pictures, a couple of penis jokes and zero intelligent writing. This is why I dedicate hours on my blog.  In the immortal words of Roberto Duran "No Mas". 

Next trip will be a tour of Tibidabo organized by the ESADE Asians. Ah memories of Freixenet

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